Maybe I should send these to the watchers…

To the White Hizzy:

Yo Chief Homeboy.   I heared you gave a shout out wanted us to holla if we be knowin sumdood  be talkin whack $h1T ‘bout you.  I was just sittin kickin it wit my first baby babymomma, or maybe it was my fifth baby’s babymomma, but shit dog you know how it be hard to keep yo bitches straight.  So i was kickin it with girl, and sumdood he start runnin his mouf, he be sayin shit how it gonna cost him mo money for free healthcare, I was like shut up cracka don you know what  Free be meanin?  he keep trash talkin sayin they gonna make it hard to get inna see a doctor.  Man, dood is so dumb, everyone know all you gotta do is go down to the ‘mergency room, shit be free there all the time. Then my 3rd or 6th baby babymomma she tol me that when she was down gettin her hair and toes did, some girl be sayin that the gummermint be runnin outta money.  I say don’ be listening to that blabbin, how can the gummermint be runnin outta money, they makes the money beotches.  Then I was gone over to Tron’s house to score some…well ta axe him fo summin, and I hear some ol dood he say they gonna quit givin him his medicine and theys gonna make him take a pain pill and jus die.  Dude be old anyway, and I’d be takin all them pain pills I could get; you noamsayne?   Hey i gotta jump, but I owe you a solid my brotha for the new wheels, I got me a lexus with the big dubs, HOLLA, peace out.

hmmm hope that wasnt going to far….

To El Primo:

Que Paso bato, I hear it on the television you want me, how you say? boconear  if I hear something, you know bad, for you.  The other day, mi esposa and the little ones were at the laundromat, and two old viejas was talkin. I no sabe everthin they say but they say something like they don want to pagar, pay, you know, for everyone else going to el medico.  I was like, abuela, you already pay for my baby!  Then they look at mi hija, she was skipping around the floor wearing her pretty dress and tiara. Then My cousin he say his jefe at work say that you gonna raise taxes.  What taxes, I say?  Everybody knows hombre, that you just say you have a lot of ninos! Then you send your money to mexico!  Then he say something about insurance, we don’t need no stinking insurance! I no have insurance on my car!  Why I need insurance, I just want free medico!

Viva La Reconquesta!

To the head dude

Hey man, I was watching youtube and I saw where you need us to tell you when those bible thumpers are harshing our mellow.  I was at the mall coming out of hot topic and this oldood was talking to his chick about your plan to take care of our health.  they were saying some really mean unfair things about you.  Like, I am in college and I work at olive garden and I dont know what I would do without you.  My parents don’t love me, they don’t help me at all.  But I got a student loan so I could go to Amsterdam last year from Sally Mae, And I took that 4500 dollars and traded in that old volvo my parents made me drive when they got their new car, and I got a totally rad Honda Civic.  I go to the free clinic all the time to make sure I dont have any VD, this chick I hooked up with the other day she gets her pills from the health department.  Man when I was in jr high me and this totally hot girl hooked up and then she was like late, you know, and she didnt want to tell her parents, and planned parenthood said we didnt have to.  My friend Tyler, he got this girl pregnant and they wanted to have the kid, and the government gave them a house, and they got on medicaid.  SO they are being taken care of, even if his parents kicked them out.  I dont know why all these old people bitch about everything.  You are just trying to help, you know, to make life fair. I mean I remember the ‘rents are always naggin me about my grades but I go to class everyday and I havent ever got held back.  I deserve to get my degree, I have put in my time.  Then I will get a really good job, and make the world better.  I mean what do they want from me?  Anyway dude, keep it up,  It will be all good.  I gotta jet dude, there is a peta protest at KFC (nazis) I gotta go.

p.s.  hook us up on legalizing hemp?

TTYL