March 01, 2009

Mileage Taxes, Cell Phones, and My new Invention to avoid Toilet Taxes

So I have been hearing a lot about mileage taxes,2933,475507,00.html , there are some grumblings about charging taxes on the miles people drive. This is because they cannot raise enough taxes on sales of gasoline because #1 people are not driving as much and #2 because of them people are buying higher mileage vehicles, and I have been wondering how in the world is that going to work? They are going to round up every car in the US and put a GPS transmitter on it?

Then there was an article on about RealID (which is a reality) and “enhanced drivers licenses” that is gaining momentum, to use RFID (radio chips) in people’s drivers licenses. This would allow them to know who was in the football stadium…who was in the political rally….who went to the strip club…. Who was at the protest….who went to the gun show…who went to one of those dens of hate speech (we used to call them churches) etc. You know…generally crapping all over the constitution. But get ready because it will probably happen.

So if they do this, and they can track your driver’s license. Then there is no need to put a GPS in cars. That will let them tax people who are on busses and planes and ships for their movements too.

Hell, while we are taxing people for their mileage, we can do taxes based on vehicle occupancy. If you have up to 4 people in your car going somewhere, as long as the destination is on the list of approved True Party (the only approved party) destinations, and assuming you didn’t break the speed limit, wore your seatbelt, didn’t roll through any stop signs, there was no one smoking in the car, no hate speech was uttered while driving, you didn’t cut anyone off, did not have your radio set to the AM band (where the dissidents preach their ill advised message from mobile pirate transmitters) and you used a government approved , non-governmental citizen route, during approved traveling hours you can get a tax cut on the mileage. For vehicles with more than four occupants, assuming none are children, see special multiple children exception, if the vehicle is carrying more than four occupants, then it is required to pay more mileage tax as it is obvious the vehicle is over the 95 hp government recommended horsepower, and if the HAL3000 ID checker can tell that there is more than 3 inches of space between each occupant, then the vehicle is obviously larger than the government recommended size, and your taxes will be adjusted accordingly. If the Vehicle Management Computer indicates there is a trailer attached then there is a 300% luxury tax for having enough money to have a trailer.

*multiple child exemption. In the case that there are over four occupants in the vehicle and at least three of them are children (as defined by the government as anyone less than 30 and still dependant) as corroborated by the HAL3000 using the ‘Lil-subjekts® idchip (implanted at the base of the brain of every infant born in the US after Supreme Chancellor Obama, High Lord Pelosi’s, His Excellency Harry Reid, and court jester Biden’s 4th term in rule) and assuming the Enhanced driver’s license is owned by a registered True Party (the only approved party) voter and as long as there is no father figure in the vehicle, there is a tax rebate of up to 10% for every child (to a count of 4) and 50 % after every 10th child (assuming the mother is unemployed) registered to this mother, added to the Having Multiple State Sponsored Children credit. Extra bonuses for multiple male biological donors for the children.

Go ahead and Google the “toilet Flushing tax” when they get that one implemented I am going to patent my combo shovel, seat, and toilet paper dispensing device.
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